Twenty Questions
by catherinedoncaster1995
Summary: Renesmee gets edward and Bella to play twenty questions, arguments start when Jacob joins in, and they start asking their won questions. Set after breaking dawn, supposed to be funny, ONE SHOT


RENESMEE

I was sat opposite mum and dad in the living room, a clipboard on my knee and wire rimmed glasses on my eyes. The lenses were clear glass because I did not actually need glasses, but they were perfect for this. I was playing Mr and Mrs with mum and dad.

His arm was draped around her shoulders on the sofa; she was leant into his side, tracing patterns on the inside of his thigh. In truth dad looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here... well okay maybe not anywhere else... just one place.

Oh my god I got a mental picture.

Dad beamed and mum looked at my horrified face and dads smile of triumph. She sighed and muttered something low about being childish. Dads head snapped around and he leant his head down to kiss her neck hard, in turn telling her he could be very _adult_ if he wanted to.

I gagged and turned to mum.

"Question one, what is dads favourite colour on you?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Is this really necessary?"

"Yep." I said, popping my lips on the 'p'.

"Blue." She sighed.

I went back to dad, his competitive edge already creeping into his focus. I sighed, this was why we couldn't often play gamed like this with dad and Uncles Emmet and Jasper in the same room.

"Question 2, where was mum planning on getting a tattoo of your initial?" I asked.

Dad glanced at mum who avoided his gaze.

"You're not serious?" He asked her.

"Emmet dared me to... but I backed out." She mumbled.

Dad growled quietly but I coughed.

"I don't know." He told me.

"Lower back." Mum mumbled, dad sighed and kissed her head.

"Why didn't you?" He asked conversationally, although there was intense curiosity in his eyes.

She shrugged, "I knew you wouldn't like it."

"who says?"

"Emmet."

"And you'd listen to Emmet rather than ask me first."

"It was his dare, and you weren't here to ask."

"Well then how come Ness knew?"

"Her name in Renesmee, and because I told her."

"So I'm the only one who didn't know..."

"Guys can you focus _please_!" I shouted.

Mum looked embarrassed and dad was now sulking. He leant back in the sofa and mum kissed his shoulder, before motioning for me to start again.

"Question three, mum, how many cars has dad bought you?" I asked.

Dad froze and mum answered without noticing, "Two."

"Ech uh... guess again." I said.

Her head snapped around to look at dad, "How many _is it_ then Edward?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Five, but I sent two of them back, they weren't suitable for you as a human."

Mum growled, "_Five_?"

"I don't think that this is any different to you wanting to get a tattoo of _my_ name without telling _me_." He said firmly.

She folded her arms, "Five cars?"

"Did Jacob know?" Dad countered, both of them talking about different things.

I sighed, "Dad question four..."

"No I want to ask my own question." He said.

I frowned and leant back in my chair, folding my arms and taking off my glasses, watching the scene and potential argument unfold in front of me.

"Question five, did Jacob or did Jacob _not _know about you wanting to get a tattoo of, once again for the record, _my_ name on your lower back?" Dad demanded.

Mum glared at him, "As a matter of fact he did know."

"And it depends what you class as lower back dad..." I muttered and mum snapped her head around to glare at me, before looking back at dad.

Dad looked like he as close to screaming, "You were going to get it on your ass?"

Never had I heard dad talk like this, he must have been mad... Jacob was in for it when he...  
>"Hey guys." The voice came from the doorway.<p>

"Edward..."

Mum was a second to late in her warning.

Dad was across the room in a flash, pinning Jacob up against the wall, holding his shirt in both his fists so Jake was at eye level with him. Jacob's feet hanging about a foot off of the floor.

"Edward what the hell..." Jacob started but dad cut him off.

"Did you know that my wife was getting a tattoo on an ass of my name..." Dad snapped.

Jacob froze for a moment, "Ah..."

Dad slammed him back against the plaster, "Did you?"

Jake nodded and dad snarled, pinning him harder against the wall.

"Question six." Mum started, she was now standing and her arms were folded.

"Who exactly arranged for my car to go to be upgraded on the day of my human birthday?" She demanded.

Dad and Jacob looked at one another for a moment before dad let Jacob down, apologies quietly and they both looked at the floor, shuffling uncomfortably.

I started open mouthed at Jacob, "_You _told dad that he could get mums car upgraded?"

Mum looked at me, "_You_ knew?"

I opened my mouth to answer when dad spoke quietly.

"Obviously I had nothing to do with this so..." He trailed off and went to walk out when mum shouted.

"Sit down Cullen." Dad was down in his seat in the same second.

Jacob who was on the receiving end of my glare sat beside him, and both looked like brothers in arms, children being caught doing something, or really sheepish adults.

"Question Seven..." I started and I sensed that both of then groaned mentally. Rather than a harmless family game this had turned into a Spanish inquisition type event.

If Granddad Charlie had been with us I knew that he would get a kick out of torturing dad.

My father's eyes narrowed at me and he shuddered, obviously remembering what it was like being under his father in laws intense police chief gaze.

"Question seven, _who_ exactly was it who told Seth that I thought he was the hottest of the wolf boys if I didn't count Jacob?" I demanded.

Mums eyes went to dad, "Edward?"

"it wasn't me." He looked up.

She frowned, "I didn't ask you who it _wasn't_ I asked you who it _was_."

Dad swallowed and began to gesture with his hands, "See this is difficult because I don't want to get anyone in trouble..."

"Edward." She snapped.

"It was Jacob." He said instantly.

Jacob glared at him but dad raised an eyebrow, "Your telling me you wouldn't have done the same."

Jake nodded and shrugged, "True."

"Question Eight..."

"Jesus how long is this going to go on for?" Dad asked.

Mums eyes gleamed and I also grinned.

"You know the rules Edward, we have to the all the way to _twenty."_


End file.
